Monsters Under My Bed

Did you ever imagine you had monsters hiding under your bed when you were a kid? Did you ever lay awake at night paralyzed with fear? Afraid to breathe, afraid the monsters might hear you? I did! Unfortunately, my monsters didn’t stay under my bed—they followed me to school—and later hid in the trunk of my car and in the frozen food section of the local grocery store.

That’s the introduction to a speech I gave recently. Me speak? Yes, I know. I can’t believe it either! How did this happen, you ask?

A few years ago I joined Toastmasters to gain confidence and overcome my fear of people—all kinds of people—but scary people in particular. 'Editors' if you really want to know. This 'may' explain why I don't post as often as I originally intended, and YES, I feel terribly guilty about it!

What do we do in Toastmasters? Well, we don’t just sit around and toast bread, we actually practice the fine art of public speaking—and it’s said that most people would rather die than do this. So, I guess that makes me either very brave or very foolish—or perhaps bravely foolish! Either way, I’d still rather get up and speak in front of people than play with spiders—or stand on the ledge of a tall building.

Once in a while I bounce a speech idea off of a friend or family member. Often they ask me to send my finished script to them. Sometimes I do, and several of my blogs are even from speeches. BUT they have never seen me speak—because I never ‘let’ them!

After arguing with my internal fear-monsters, I decided it was time to give my family, friends—and you—a peek at what I’ve been up to these past few years. Yikes! Here goes... I invite you to click on the link below (or copy and paste into your browser) and sit-in on one of my speeches. Just so you know, my monsters are completely against this foolish idea!

“Monsters that Won’t Stay Under the Bed”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kLxYCbVMwY

I apologize, but the sound quality isn’t strong. It’s best on a desktop with good speakers or on a laptop with headphones.

Growing on the Inside

Do you ever feel like you’re not growing?

I always wanted to grow taller, and I remember how disappointed I was when I found out I’d actually get shorter with age. Although, I have to admit, I have grown more around the middle than I’d like—but that’s another subject that involves a four-letter word followed by an even worse eight-letter word: diet and exercise!

But that's not the kind of growth I'm talking about...

No, the growth I’m talking about is the kind that takes place on the inside—the kind that’s hard to measure, feel or notice. It’s like watching a plant grow. If we sit there staring at the plant, we won’t see anything. But if we give it time, one of two things happens, it either wilts—or grows. It all depends on whether you feed and water it!

Internal growth is like that. If we feed and water ourselves, we will grow! I realized that I was under the misconception that if I fed and watered myself I might grow—because I was surprised when someone noticed that I had grown!

For example, I joined Toastmasters a couple years ago because I wanted to grow and learn to communicate with more confidence. For six months I toiled on speeches and filled various meeting roles that required speaking in front of people—but I didn’t think I had grown much until our club president said from the lectern, “Remember when Myla used to be shy?”

My internal dialog went something like: Really? Wow! I sat there in total amazement with tears filling my eyes. I walked out of the meeting, but I felt skipping!

I also learned to watch-out for slugs that try to gobble-up the new growth on my plant—slugs of negative thought. A fellow club member exposed their sneaky ways when he said, “I wonder who’s speaking today?”

“Oh, I have to give a speech,” I mumbled.

“Don’t say that!” he said. “Say to yourself: ‘I get to give a speech!’ and say: ‘This is going to be fun!’ Lie to yourself if you have to, but say it over and over again until you believe it!”

I tried it—and it worked! Confronting the slugs of negative thought sent those cowards packing! By the time I stood up to speak, my attitude did a complete U-turn. I still felt nervous—but not paralyzed. I actually felt excited to share!

Earlier today I read an email from a woman who joined Toastmasters eight months ago. She wrote, “I feel stuck in the beginner phase...” Perhaps she can’t see her own growth because, like me, she’s been “staring at the plant” too much—or letting slugs chew on it.

In the beginning she reminded me of my cats when I’d get out the pet-carrier to take them to the vet—wide-eyed and ready to dart under a bed! Now she’s brave enough to let her sense of humor come out of hiding. She even ventured to share her values with us—not knowing if we agreed with her or not. That takes courage!

“I don't see you as a beginner,” I wrote back to her. “You have grown—and I can see it!”

The examples I gave relate to personal growth, but the principles apply to spiritual growth too. We may not feel like we are growing, but if we feed and water ourselves—and shun the sneaky slugs of negative or wrong thoughts—we will grow!

Peace or a Stomach Ache?

I have an ulcer. I’m in pain, and some people say it’s my own fault. This upsets me. I don’t want to hear it!

I woke up at 2 AM last night and mulled it over… and over… and over. I tossed and turned till 6 AM. It made my stomach churn even more. As the morning light crept into my room, I gave in to the idea…

Maybe it is my fault.

I don’t mean for it to happen, but somehow it keeps happening. I start doing something – a job, a project, a club. And before I know it, I’ve agreed to do too many things, and I’m overwhelmed with commitment.

I’m not doing bad things. More often than not – I’m helping someone. But If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I say “yes” even when the little voice in the back of my head says, “Are you sure about this?”

I say “yes” because I can’t seem to say “no” because another voice inside my head says, “You can’t let people down! Everything will fall apart! You can’t let that happen. Just push yourself harder!”

Then I’m trapped. I’m compelled to keep my word – even if it kills me! That makes my stomach churn… Ouch!

There is a better way, and I know it. It’s summed up in two verses:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,And do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He will make your path straight.~Proverbs 3:5-6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~Philippians 4:6-7

When I live by these principles – they work. My problem is… I’m like a person who throws a boomerang and forgets about it until comes back and hits me in the head – or in this case, hits me in the stomach.

When things are going well, I get comfortable and slide back to my old stressed-out ways. But the message my body is giving me is this: “Slow down, eat right, and take care of yourself or you won’t be able to help anyone!”

Besides, I can’t help everyone. That’s something only God can do!

Dear Lord, help me be still so I can hear Your voice over the din of noise in my own head. Please guide my path and give me wisdom to know when I’m supposed to help people, and when I need to let go and let them learn for themselves. Give me Your peace to calm my heart, mind, and stomach… And most of all, thank You for loving me enough to teach me this lesson… and for being patient enough to remind me of it – over and over again! Amen.

ALL I NEED IS YOU

Dad's Garden

Drive by my parent’s house during the growing season, and you’ll likely see an old man wielding a hoe in a large garden. If you pull in the drive way, he’ll amble over and engage you in a conversation like this:

“You wanna’ see my garden? I got this-here new hoe, and I need someone to ‘try it out’ for me.”

You look at the used hoe in his hand and think: New hoe? But you follow him anyway because he seems excited to show you his garden, and somehow you feel honored to be asked to “try out” his hoe.

“You gotta’ see my pumpkins!” He bends down and pulls back a giant green leaf. Underneath is the most beautiful pumpkin you’ve ever laid eyes on. And the reason you know that is — because he tells you so.

“Look at this. Whoo-wee! Ain’t she a beauty? Isn’t it the most beautiful pumpkin you ever laid eyes on? I’ll bet you she’ll make the best pumpkin pie you’ve ever tasted!”

After that you see the most beautiful zucchini, cantaloupe, watermelon, taters, corn, beans, tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots you’ve “ever laid eyes on” too!

While he’s showing off his produce, he also shows you his intricate watering system of little streams that guide the life-giving water to all his lovely plants. He complains about the weeds. “The dirty buggers are always trying to choke my plants!”

You’re not sure when, but another hoe appears, and he shows you how to use it to keep the little streams clear of weeds. “...otherwise, the plants will be puny and bear scrawny fruit,” he says.

Before you know it, an hour goes by, and he asks if you’d like one of his cookies and a cup of coffee. “I keep a stash of cookies and a thermos with me for just such an occasion.” So you follow him over to the shade and listen as he tells you about his garden, his two horses and half dozen cats, his last surgery, the engine he’d like to fix out in the barn, and how he tried to buy five cows at the auction and came home with seven…

Later, as you drive away, you look down at the box of produce on the seat next to you and smile. Those are the most beautiful zucchinis, cucumbers, and tomatoes I’ve ever laid eyes on!

As I think about my Dad’s garden, I wonder... If my life was a garden, would it be as healthy? Are my little streams clear? Or are weeds blocking the flow of life-giving water? Perhaps it’s time to get out the hoe and do some weeding — because the results are worth it!

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD

And whose trust is the LORD.

For he will be like a tree planted by the water,

That extends its roots by a stream

And will not fear when the heat comes;

But its leaves will be green,

And it will not be anxious in a year of drought

Nor cease to yield fruit.”

~ Jeremiah 17:7-8, NASV

The Dreaded "Uh Oh" Moment

Have you ever had that “uh oh” moment when you realize you’ve said, or done, the wrong thing? When I hear about an accident, say like a skydiver falling to the ground because their parachute failed. I often wonder if they had an “uh oh” moment somewhere on the way to the ground.

While I haven’t an “uh oh" moment that dramatic yet, I can tell about a few smaller ones I’ve lived through.

I had an “uh oh” moment shortly after my husband and I bought a used car. A queasy feeling came over me when we gave the guy our money. The deal seemed a little too good for a car that looked so nice.

A couple days later, I went in the post-office, and when I came out, the car wouldn’t start. I called my husband. And wouldn’t you know? It started for him just fine. Perhaps it was “operator error”— or was it? It kept happening to me, but not to him. Maybe the car just didn’t like me. So, we switched cars, and it started happening to him…

Then we heard a warning on the news to beware of buying “flood cars.” The cars look normal—but they never run right and even worse—they may not be safe. My stomach sank. We were the unlucky owners of a car suffering from the effects of being submerged in water. Over time nearly every sensor and electrical part in the car failed. The money we thought we were saving, we spent just to keep it running until we could afford to buy another one. By the time it was over—could have bought a brand new car!

Lesson learned? If you feel queasy feeling about buying a car—trust your gut—and do your research.

But how often do you jump out of a plane or buy a car? Not often—or maybe never. These kinds of lessons are easy to remember. In fact, we may never even have to learn them ourselves. Just hearing about someone else’s “uh oh” moment is enough for us!

But there’s another kind of “uh oh” moment we are doomed to learn from all by ourselves—and unfortunately—it’s the most common. It’s the moment right after you’ve said the wrong thing, and there’s an awkward silence… and you’d give anything to jump in a time machine and go back a few minutes.

I know my former neighbor wanted to jump in a time machine right after she asked me when my baby was due. The surprised look on my face must have tipped her off.

What’s the good news in all this? Believe it or not—there’s something great about the dreaded “uh oh” moment. The benefits may not be realized immediately, but I guarantee you will reap them in the future.

How? They make a bigger dent in your brain. What do I mean by that? First, memories actually make dents in our brain tissue, and second—it’s not possible for our minds to retain every detail of every event that happens in our lives.

Picture for a moment, that every event in your life is an e-mail. Your e-mail box contains millions of messages. There’s no way you can remember them all. It’s impossible for one of them to stand out—unless there is some sort of “attachment” to make it stand out.

That’s how our brain works. It retains a stronger memory of events with emotional attachments—and pain and embarrassment are effective attachments. They make a memorable impact on our brain. This increases our chances of learning from our mistakes—and reduces our chances of repeating them!

So next time you feel yourself floundering through an “uh oh” moment—embrace the embarrassment. It will make a nice big dent in your brain!

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in the right circumstance.
~ Proverbs 25:11

Heckle and Jeckle and the Big Risk!

Just for fun, I'm posting another speech I gave at my Gig Harbor, WA Toastmasters Club recently. I was working on Project #6, Vocal Variety. My purpose was to entertain by telling a story, while practicing my objective. The theme of our meeting that day was "cartoons," which reminded me of an incident when I was about five-years-old. The story went something like this...

I opened my eyes. The room was still dark, but with a hint of gray. I inched my body over the edge of the bed and lowered myself until my feet touched the floor.

I stopped and listened...

I heard my older brother breathing on the bunk bed above me. So, I crept to the doorway and peeked down the dark hallway toward my parents’ bedroom. Their door was closed. I felt a flutter of excitement! I wouldn't try if their door was open, even part way. I'd wait until next Saturday.

But now was my chance. I had been plotting this for weeks.

I still had to make it past my teenage sister’s door down the hall in the other direction. I was pretty sure her door would be closed, even if it wasn't she slept like a corpse. And I knew what a corpse looked like. My grandma worked at a cemetery, and I'd seen one.

I tiptoed past my sister's door, trying to miss the creaky spots on the floor. But I missed one.

Oh no!

I froze like a tree—trying not to breathe. I listened for a stir. All was quiet.

Whew, that was close!

I continued on my journey, only a few more feet to go and…

I stepped into the living room! My eyes scanned the dim room and landed on the object of my quest. There, resting under a pair of rabbit ear antenna, sat our black-and-white TV!

Some people had color—but not in our neighborhood. No matter. I walked up to the box with the shiny glass screen and turned the volume knob all the way down. And once again, I held my breath as I twisted the switch to the 'on' position. The faint buzzing sound of the TV seemed loud!

My heart raced.

Would my dad hear it?

Even from behind closed the door, sound passed easily through the flimsy walls of our house. I stood still, taking small shallow breaths, and waited. Nothing...

Finally, the TV warmed up and the picture came into view, nothing but fuzz. Oh, there had to be something on one of the channels! I carefully clicked the dial around to the next station and some funny looking bars came into view.

Well that was better than fuzz. I still had hope.

I clicked the dial around to the last channel—and my heart leaped like a frog! All of a sudden, I was staring at two black and white magpies sitting on a fence—talking to each other! I wanted to hear what they were saying!

Should I risk turning up the volume a bit?

I watched the the birds play around and tried not to giggle out-loud. Oh, how I had dreamed of this! But I wanted to hear, seeing wasn't enough. So, I reached out my hand to the volume knob, and ever so slightly, turned it up.

I heard the birds talking! They called each other Heckle and Jeckle!

I snuggled close to the TV, pulled my nightie down over my knees to stay warm, and looked up at the screen. I watched the naughty pair of birds and giggled quietly to myself. I was so enraptured… I didn't hear my dad walk-up behind me.

"What are you doing up at this hour watching that garbage?!"

I nearly jumped out of my nightie!

He reached over me and switched the TV off. "Now you get back to bed this minute you little whippersnapper!"

I jumped up and dashed down the hallway, slid under my covers, and pulled them over my head! I waited and listened to my father’s footsteps getting louder—bump, Bump, BUMP. He stopped outside my door...

I held my breath! The seconds seemed like hours before I heard his footsteps again, this time getting quieter—BUMP, Bump, bump. His door closed with a thud—and then I remembered to breathe.

I lay there with my heart racing. Was it worth it? Oh yes! It was worth it! And I've loved cartoons ever since!