I always wanted to grow taller, and I remember how disappointed I was when I found out I’d actually get shorter with age. Although, I have to admit, I have grown more around the middle than I’d like—but that’s another subject that involves a four-letter word followed by an even worse eight-letter word: diet and exercise!
But that's not the kind of growth I'm talking about...
No, the growth I’m talking about is the kind that takes place on the inside—the kind that’s hard to measure, feel or notice. It’s like watching a plant grow. If we sit there staring at the plant, we won’t see anything. But if we give it time, one of two things happens, it either wilts—or grows. It all depends on whether you feed and water it!
Internal growth is like that. If we feed and water ourselves, we will grow! I realized that I was under the misconception that if I fed and watered myself I might grow—because I was surprised when someone noticed that I had grown!
For example, I joined Toastmasters a couple years ago because I wanted to grow and learn to communicate with more confidence. For six months I toiled on speeches and filled various meeting roles that required speaking in front of people—but I didn’t think I had grown much until our club president said from the lectern, “Remember when Myla used to be shy?”
My internal dialog went something like: Really? Wow! I sat there in total amazement with tears filling my eyes. I walked out of the meeting, but I felt skipping!
I also learned to watch-out for slugs that try to gobble-up the new growth on my plant—slugs of negative thought. A fellow club member exposed their sneaky ways when he said, “I wonder who’s speaking today?”
“Oh, I have to give a speech,” I mumbled.
“Don’t say that!” he said. “Say to yourself: ‘I get to give a speech!’ and say: ‘This is going to be fun!’ Lie to yourself if you have to, but say it over and over again until you believe it!”
I tried it—and it worked! Confronting the slugs of negative thought sent those cowards packing! By the time I stood up to speak, my attitude did a complete U-turn. I still felt nervous—but not paralyzed. I actually felt excited to share!
Earlier today I read an email from a woman who joined Toastmasters eight months ago. She wrote, “I feel stuck in the beginner phase...” Perhaps she can’t see her own growth because, like me, she’s been “staring at the plant” too much—or letting slugs chew on it.
In the beginning she reminded me of my cats when I’d get out the pet-carrier to take them to the vet—wide-eyed and ready to dart under a bed! Now she’s brave enough to let her sense of humor come out of hiding. She even ventured to share her values with us—not knowing if we agreed with her or not. That takes courage!
“I don't see you as a beginner,” I wrote back to her. “You have grown—and I can see it!”
The examples I gave relate to personal growth, but the principles apply to spiritual growth too. We may not feel like we are growing, but if we feed and water ourselves—and shun the sneaky slugs of negative or wrong thoughts—we will grow!
