Barking, Hissing, or a Gentle Answer?

He’s barking at me in the kitchen as he chops meat on the cutting board. Heat rushes to my face. I feel like a cornered cat with my back arched and fur sticking out. 

Defensive thoughts race through my mind—running into a traffic jam of angry words in the back of my throat. Just as I’m about to “hiss” angry words—I hear a familiar whisper inside my head. 

A gentle answer turns away wrath…

In a flash an old video reel plays in my mind’s eye. We’re standing in the kitchen—barking and hissing at each another. He leaves the house frustrated, slamming the door behind him. I collapse on our bed in tears, our angry miscommunication feeling like a bowl of tangled spaghetti.

“ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?”

His barking voice snaps me back to the present. I look at his face—contorted in anger. I feel the urge to defend myself tug against the whisper. It’s my moment of decision. How many times have I regretted not listening to that little whisper? I take a breath and send up a quick prayer for strength—to yield!

Immediately the traffic jam in my throat disperses. I feel “the fur” on my back go down as my shoulders relax. Another whisper floats by my inner ear. Love is patient, love is kind… I give in to the words, and I feel them as I speak.

“Yes, I hear you.”

I see a flicker of surprise in his eyes as we lock gazes. His inner battle plays out on his face as he weighs his decision. I hear the clock in the living room—the one we bought for our first anniversary so many years ago. Tick—tick—tick.

His jaw relaxes. “Well, okay then,” he says.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1, NASV

Afterthought… This is one of the times I succeeded in heeding “the still small voice” that some believe is God, me being one of them, but I did not learn to heed without failing. As the saying goes, I am a work in progress—as we all are. So, don’t go beating yourself up for failing to heed yesterday. (I’m talking to myself as much as you.) Today is a new day. Pick yourself up and try again!

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.” 
~Mary Pickford

Mr. FLU: 7 Tips to Prevent This Unwelcome Guest

An unwelcome guest stopped by last week—and he won’t leave! He insists on staying and making me miserable. I hear he can stay one week or even two, more if my immune system is weak.

How did I manage to let him in my door? I’m not sure, but I discovered with a little investigating that he’s very sneaky—and quite the acrobat.

Mr. Flu propels himself at speeds up to 60 miles per hour in the sneezes and coughs of friends and strangers. He hides on surfaces for up to 8 hours waiting for his next victim. Any surface will do—door handles, keyboards, or countertops. He lurks, waiting for someone to pick him up. Then he latches on to them when they touch their face or rub their eyes—or worse. Unsuspecting victims inhale his vile mist and take him home with them!

Unfortunately, Mr. Flu may be with you a full day before you know it. Suddenly, you begin to feel fatigued and achy. Next the fever and chills set in—and your uninvited guest boldly makes his presence known!

What can you do to escape this unwelcome guest? Health professionals recommend the flu shot. If you decide to get one, remember, it may take up to 2 weeks to take effect—so you still need to exercise prevention.

Check out the following tips I've gleaned from my research. (For complete information, always consult your health care provider.)

My favorite tip is—SMILE! Smiling and laughter are proven to boost your immune system. So, whether you’re trying to keep Mr. Flu out—or he’s already moved in—watch your favorite funny movie or stand-up comedian. It’s the one remedy that’s sure to cheer you up!

In fact, I’m forcing Mr. Flu to watch cute animals doing funny things on YouTube while I drink fizzy vitamin C drinks. I’m pretty sure he hates it. I figure it's only a matter of time before he leaves... ;-)

More flu info:  www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/preventing.htm
More smiling benefits:  http://healthiermn.com/5-health-benefits-of-smiling

Sticks and Stones

The old childhood saying goes: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Recently I experienced the cutting pain of sharp words. I lay awake at night struggling to stop the words from replaying in my head. Part of me wanted to forgive and let go—the other part wanted to hold on and smolder. 

One night I couldn’t sleep, so I got up at 3 AM to pray. I prayed for the person who hurt me, and I prayed for help to let go. As I prayed, this question came to my mind: If this were my last night on earth, what would I say to this person?

I opened my laptop and wrote an answer that surprised me.  Here are the words that came down my arms and out my fingertips:

May you sense the holy presence of God. May you feel His great love for you. You were born for a reason. God wanted you here. You are precious in His sight. He made you who you are, and He put you where you are for a reason. Never forget that—and never forget that every person that crosses your path was created by God. He wanted them here too.

If I am that someone, I am crossing your path for a reason. He put me here. Even though we are both flawed creatures—He loves us more than we can fathom—and loving one another is the best way we can love Him back. 

I wish only good for you. I pray for your health and well-being. May God bless you and grant you peace.

In the short time it took to type these words, I found the relief I sought. As peace settled over me, Jesus’ words came to mind: “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you” (Luke 6:28, NLT).

Sticks and stones may break your bones and hurtful words may cut like a knife, but the Lord will heal the wounds we surrender to Him.

Monsters Under My Bed

Did you ever imagine you had monsters hiding under your bed when you were a kid? Did you ever lay awake at night paralyzed with fear? Afraid to breathe, afraid the monsters might hear you? I did! Unfortunately, my monsters didn’t stay under my bed—they followed me to school—and later hid in the trunk of my car and in the frozen food section of the local grocery store.

That’s the introduction to a speech I gave recently. Me speak? Yes, I know. I can’t believe it either! How did this happen, you ask?

A few years ago I joined Toastmasters to gain confidence and overcome my fear of people—all kinds of people—but scary people in particular. 'Editors' if you really want to know. This 'may' explain why I don't post as often as I originally intended, and YES, I feel terribly guilty about it!

What do we do in Toastmasters? Well, we don’t just sit around and toast bread, we actually practice the fine art of public speaking—and it’s said that most people would rather die than do this. So, I guess that makes me either very brave or very foolish—or perhaps bravely foolish! Either way, I’d still rather get up and speak in front of people than play with spiders—or stand on the ledge of a tall building.

Once in a while I bounce a speech idea off of a friend or family member. Often they ask me to send my finished script to them. Sometimes I do, and several of my blogs are even from speeches. BUT they have never seen me speak—because I never ‘let’ them!

After arguing with my internal fear-monsters, I decided it was time to give my family, friends—and you—a peek at what I’ve been up to these past few years. Yikes! Here goes... I invite you to click on the link below (or copy and paste into your browser) and sit-in on one of my speeches. Just so you know, my monsters are completely against this foolish idea!

“Monsters that Won’t Stay Under the Bed”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kLxYCbVMwY

I apologize, but the sound quality isn’t strong. It’s best on a desktop with good speakers or on a laptop with headphones.

Growing on the Inside

Do you ever feel like you’re not growing?

I always wanted to grow taller, and I remember how disappointed I was when I found out I’d actually get shorter with age. Although, I have to admit, I have grown more around the middle than I’d like—but that’s another subject that involves a four-letter word followed by an even worse eight-letter word: diet and exercise!

But that's not the kind of growth I'm talking about...

No, the growth I’m talking about is the kind that takes place on the inside—the kind that’s hard to measure, feel or notice. It’s like watching a plant grow. If we sit there staring at the plant, we won’t see anything. But if we give it time, one of two things happens, it either wilts—or grows. It all depends on whether you feed and water it!

Internal growth is like that. If we feed and water ourselves, we will grow! I realized that I was under the misconception that if I fed and watered myself I might grow—because I was surprised when someone noticed that I had grown!

For example, I joined Toastmasters a couple years ago because I wanted to grow and learn to communicate with more confidence. For six months I toiled on speeches and filled various meeting roles that required speaking in front of people—but I didn’t think I had grown much until our club president said from the lectern, “Remember when Myla used to be shy?”

My internal dialog went something like: Really? Wow! I sat there in total amazement with tears filling my eyes. I walked out of the meeting, but I felt skipping!

I also learned to watch-out for slugs that try to gobble-up the new growth on my plant—slugs of negative thought. A fellow club member exposed their sneaky ways when he said, “I wonder who’s speaking today?”

“Oh, I have to give a speech,” I mumbled.

“Don’t say that!” he said. “Say to yourself: ‘I get to give a speech!’ and say: ‘This is going to be fun!’ Lie to yourself if you have to, but say it over and over again until you believe it!”

I tried it—and it worked! Confronting the slugs of negative thought sent those cowards packing! By the time I stood up to speak, my attitude did a complete U-turn. I still felt nervous—but not paralyzed. I actually felt excited to share!

Earlier today I read an email from a woman who joined Toastmasters eight months ago. She wrote, “I feel stuck in the beginner phase...” Perhaps she can’t see her own growth because, like me, she’s been “staring at the plant” too much—or letting slugs chew on it.

In the beginning she reminded me of my cats when I’d get out the pet-carrier to take them to the vet—wide-eyed and ready to dart under a bed! Now she’s brave enough to let her sense of humor come out of hiding. She even ventured to share her values with us—not knowing if we agreed with her or not. That takes courage!

“I don't see you as a beginner,” I wrote back to her. “You have grown—and I can see it!”

The examples I gave relate to personal growth, but the principles apply to spiritual growth too. We may not feel like we are growing, but if we feed and water ourselves—and shun the sneaky slugs of negative or wrong thoughts—we will grow!

Peace or a Stomach Ache?

I have an ulcer. I’m in pain, and some people say it’s my own fault. This upsets me. I don’t want to hear it!

I woke up at 2 AM last night and mulled it over… and over… and over. I tossed and turned till 6 AM. It made my stomach churn even more. As the morning light crept into my room, I gave in to the idea…

Maybe it is my fault.

I don’t mean for it to happen, but somehow it keeps happening. I start doing something – a job, a project, a club. And before I know it, I’ve agreed to do too many things, and I’m overwhelmed with commitment.

I’m not doing bad things. More often than not – I’m helping someone. But If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I say “yes” even when the little voice in the back of my head says, “Are you sure about this?”

I say “yes” because I can’t seem to say “no” because another voice inside my head says, “You can’t let people down! Everything will fall apart! You can’t let that happen. Just push yourself harder!”

Then I’m trapped. I’m compelled to keep my word – even if it kills me! That makes my stomach churn… Ouch!

There is a better way, and I know it. It’s summed up in two verses:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,And do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He will make your path straight.~Proverbs 3:5-6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.~Philippians 4:6-7

When I live by these principles – they work. My problem is… I’m like a person who throws a boomerang and forgets about it until comes back and hits me in the head – or in this case, hits me in the stomach.

When things are going well, I get comfortable and slide back to my old stressed-out ways. But the message my body is giving me is this: “Slow down, eat right, and take care of yourself or you won’t be able to help anyone!”

Besides, I can’t help everyone. That’s something only God can do!

Dear Lord, help me be still so I can hear Your voice over the din of noise in my own head. Please guide my path and give me wisdom to know when I’m supposed to help people, and when I need to let go and let them learn for themselves. Give me Your peace to calm my heart, mind, and stomach… And most of all, thank You for loving me enough to teach me this lesson… and for being patient enough to remind me of it – over and over again! Amen.

ALL I NEED IS YOU