Have you ever had that “uh oh” moment when you realize you’ve said, or done, the wrong thing? When I hear about an accident, say like a skydiver falling to the ground because their parachute failed. I often wonder if they had an “uh oh” moment somewhere on the way to the ground.
While I haven’t an “uh oh" moment that dramatic yet, I can tell about a few smaller ones I’ve lived through.
I had an “uh oh” moment shortly after my husband and I bought a used car. A queasy feeling came over me when we gave the guy our money. The deal seemed a little too good for a car that looked so nice.
A couple days later, I went in the post-office, and when I came out, the car wouldn’t start. I called my husband. And wouldn’t you know? It started for him just fine. Perhaps it was “operator error”— or was it? It kept happening to me, but not to him. Maybe the car just didn’t like me. So, we switched cars, and it started happening to him…
Then we heard a warning on the news to beware of buying “flood cars.” The cars look normal—but they never run right and even worse—they may not be safe. My stomach sank. We were the unlucky owners of a car suffering from the effects of being submerged in water. Over time nearly every sensor and electrical part in the car failed. The money we thought we were saving, we spent just to keep it running until we could afford to buy another one. By the time it was over—could have bought a brand new car!
Lesson learned? If you feel queasy feeling about buying a car—trust your gut—and do your research.
But how often do you jump out of a plane or buy a car? Not often—or maybe never. These kinds of lessons are easy to remember. In fact, we may never even have to learn them ourselves. Just hearing about someone else’s “uh oh” moment is enough for us!
But there’s another kind of “uh oh” moment we are doomed to learn from all by ourselves—and unfortunately—it’s the most common. It’s the moment right after you’ve said the wrong thing, and there’s an awkward silence… and you’d give anything to jump in a time machine and go back a few minutes.
I know my former neighbor wanted to jump in a time machine right after she asked me when my baby was due. The surprised look on my face must have tipped her off.
What’s the good news in all this? Believe it or not—there’s something great about the dreaded “uh oh” moment. The benefits may not be realized immediately, but I guarantee you will reap them in the future.
How? They make a bigger dent in your brain. What do I mean by that? First, memories actually make dents in our brain tissue, and second—it’s not possible for our minds to retain every detail of every event that happens in our lives.
Picture for a moment, that every event in your life is an e-mail. Your e-mail box contains millions of messages. There’s no way you can remember them all. It’s impossible for one of them to stand out—unless there is some sort of “attachment” to make it stand out.
That’s how our brain works. It retains a stronger memory of events with emotional attachments—and pain and embarrassment are effective attachments. They make a memorable impact on our brain. This increases our chances of learning from our mistakes—and reduces our chances of repeating them!
So next time you feel yourself floundering through an “uh oh” moment—embrace the embarrassment. It will make a nice big dent in your brain!
Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in the right circumstance.
~ Proverbs 25:11
